Surprisingly, the douchebaggary is nation wide

…and I thought I could escape it. Nope! Even in Nevada, douchebags come in the same shapes and sizes as they did in Texas.

So, I’m at this bar enjoying a cocktail while watching the t.v. and sloughing off the days responsibilities. A guy, with more cliché tattoos than brain cells and his hat on sideways (not a good look!), comes to stand uncomfortably close to me and stares at me until I can feel the heat of his mindless stare and forcing me to look. I look back at him, curious what sludge this guy is going to spill from his mouth, and he says to me the thing I hate the most! He tells me to “smile.” Really!!! This is the most asinine comment I have ever heard anyone say!

You may not understand right away why this bugs me so much so let me explain…

When I go into a bar I am not there to shine my glossy pearly whites to the entire crowd. I am not there to impress every guy who walks through the door. Plus, what in the hell is going on in this guys head that makes him think he just came up with an original come on?!? I don’t get a lot of guys approaching me, maybe  2 or 3 in a night, but this is not an original comment, dude! And it’s not even cute! This simple approach of guys is an instant giveaway. Whatever this guy is thinking, it doesn’t matter because I can already deduce from that comment  that he is;

1. unintelligent
2. socially clueless
3. obviously lacks any self-awareness
4. NOT clever which makes him very un-funny and eventually, annoying
5. NOT my type of person at all, so go away…
6. A douchebag

What is it with these guys. My initial instinct is to die in laughter but that would be socially unacceptable of course, so what should I do?

I come up with something even more clever to say ( not very hard) which not only excuses me from the conversation and keeps the douchebag from communicating with me further, but it also allows the douchebag to become self-aware that he, in fact, is an ass-clown.

“Hey, thanks! I see now, that I did forget to smile. You are so helpful! Oh, but before I do, do you mind if I take a sip of my cocktail? It’s really hard to drink with no lips.”

This type of response will elicit a “bitch” from the douchebag, but don’t worry. This isn’t the type of guy that will ever affect how anyone else perceives you…everyone knows he is a douchebag. People are typically his friend only because of superficial reasons like he pays for drinks or is a source of amusement when he gets drunk. So don’t worry about anything that comes out of his mouth. It is usually wrong.

My technique serves many purposes and are indicative of my psychology background. I am only trying to help the douchebags out there! We cannot discriminate against them otherwise they will never get better, or worse, could form organizations!! Instead, we can all work together to show the douchebags in this country that we understand their ineptitude, we are compassionate for their lack of self-esteem and lack of identity.

Try this technique next time you are in your comfort zone and a strange guy walks up to you and says; “Hey, you look sad. Is it your boyfriend? Do you want to talk about it?”

In writing this post I had to get a clearer meaning on what douchabag really meant. I wrote this whole article with a theme in mind but am I using it in the correct way?

Then, I invested a little time in researching the meaning of other favorite words like tool, asshat and its derivative asshattery, assclown, and toolshed. Thanks to urban dictionary, I think I have a better understanding of what I really am calling people.

A douchebag is a person who has an over-inflated sense of self-worth, compounded by a low-level of intelligence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears. “Your boss is a real douchebag!”

Now a tool, used almost synonymously with douchebag, is actually quite different. A tool is a person who, like douchebag, has no idea they are a tool, they try too hard resulting in being dubbed a poser, and gets used by others. What separates these two adjectives is that a tool never fits in and displays his toolism to the entire room. “Let’s go to that bar with all the tools, the music sucks but they get us free drinks and I’m broke.”

Asshat. This little gem doesn’t get used enough! Some of my favorite definitions are;

1. One who has their head up their ass. Thus wearing their ass as a hat.
2. A person, of either gender, whose behavior displays such ignorance/obnoxiousness that you would like to make them wear their own ass as a hat.
3. a unit vector in the ass direction.

“Hey asshat, thanks for double parking.”

And asshattery. Asshattery is a verb and is used to describe the acts of one or more asshats. “I demand that all of you stop this asshattery at once!”

Assclown. one, who, through the fault of his parents conception, is a skid mark in society’s collective underwear. “Chris Brown is an ass-clown.”

Toolshed. This is a new one for me but I discovered it while perusing the internets: Toolshed is a giant douchebag, that uses money to make himself look cool. Mainly, however, it is a kid who tries to be something he is not. “Let’s leave this place, it’s a damn toolshed in here!”

A new location for an Austin original?

If you’ve ever worked in the restaurant industry, then you’re aware of the employee’s favorite amusement…Gossiping!

Mostly, it involves fellow employees, but the gossiping frequently extends to the customers, especially the regulars. Now don’t judge me, we all do it! In some form, how ever you take it, you get your satisfactory fill of other peoples drama.

Some rumors do have more depth to them than others. For instance; is there or is there not another Opal Divine’s in the making? Since the last time I heard this little piece of news, it has kept up with the trend of spreading and morphing just like any other good little rumor should do.

At first, I heard the Parker’s, (owners) were setting up shop in Westlake. However, yesterday I was told it was going to be in Round Rock. Hmm, so which is it? Or is it simply a rumor that will never materialize?

Personally, I think Westlake is a much better choice. Although Round Rock, as a whole, has less diverse hangouts than west Austin, west Austin can provide the type of customer that Opal’s is looking for. With their wide selection of fine malts, a tasty collection of 100% blue agave tequilas and beers that would give any connoisseur butterflies, Opal’s deserves a crowd that has an adventurous palate.

That is not to say R.R. doesn’t have its perks as a location for any joint, it just seems like the better choice; for 1) the demographic of Westlake is perfect for the type of resaruant/bar Opal’s is, and 2) if you are going to offer said selection of booze then go where the money is! I just don’t see Round Rockonites with that type of enthusiasm. In addition, Opal’s doesn’t really seem to cater to the sports crowd and they will loose out significantly on profits in R.R. since there is so much competition in Round Rock to be the cool sports bar hangout.

Either way, good luck to the Parker’s! This restaurant is one of a kind!

Then again, this is my humble consumer opinion and I could be dead wrong. Who’s going to listen?

Finding sushi…for lunch?

Monday afternoon, as I was driving in circles running errands and meeting people, a friend invited me to join him for lunch. A locally owned and nicely decorated shop called Midori sushi. You can find it tucked away in the shopping center of 183 and Anderson Mill, next to the Blockbuster.

As you walk in you think, “cool place”! All of the wait staff greats you,  ”Moshi Moshi!” and there is your traditional Buddha and the accompanying Japanese text and flashy art of cherry blossoms. There is the Japanese customary seating (shoes off) and your modern Americanized compromise; shoes on.

…So, sushi for lunch anyone?

Their lunch combos range from $10 to $16 and they come with your option of a roll, a house picked roll, and the chef’s choice of sushi which the very sweet waiter told us was escolar, salmon (sake), tuna (maguro), crab (kani kama) and white tail (hamachi). Plus, you get a small bit of salad and a cup of miso soup that you consume by sipping out of the bowl. It doesn’t sound like a lot but at the end of your lunch you are full and can hardly finish your last piece of sushi!

Now how was it? Eh, it was ok.
The ambience does great for the place but the sushi was a bit lacking and only supermarket quality.
Automatically, you can see the salmon isn’t right. It was a bit fatty. You could tell because usually salmon has a nice gradient of orange and white stripes but today, at Midori, the white stripes were thicker than, well…pretty much any other salmon I have ever seen before! The escolar was great though, like melt in you mouth great! It had a nice soft texture and a buttery taste. I ordered the spicy tuna roll and my friend ordered the rainbow roll. My tuna roll was a bit sweet but other than that, yum! His rainbow roll was fantastic, but I’m a sucker when it comes to avocado. The house roll was a kind of tempura roll and that was the best thing on the plate! Delicious!

Yes, I have had better sushi, but I think when it comes to lunch sometimes all you want is to get in and get out with a full belly. We all know how hard it is to get your fill on sushi, but somehow it works here.

Midori is a super cute place to grab quick sushi for lunch. Plus, it’s priced reasonably and definitely a healthy alternative to the fast food joints!

As you can see, the experience was average.

Ambiance: 5 stars

Price: 4 stars, especially when considering the amount of food you get

Food: 3 stars

Will I go again? Yes. Only for lunch and because it’s a great price for sushi.

making contact

Today I made my first business call, and it went amazingly well! Hans and I sat down to work out some business goals like make a few phone calls to arrange a meet and get some footage for our first few blogs. I called Greg from Lake Lessons wakeboarding school here in Austin. Greg was super nice! He offered information about events in town and invited us to the Aquaholics Anonymous event that is happening in town tomorrow. He also seemed very interested in our idea. And even though the words I spoke chattered around in my mouth, he was attentive and curious and there was no hesitation in agreeing to meet. In a word…WOW! I hope it’s always this easy.

Next call…parkour instructors. That should go over easily, as well. Some will be challenging and I am ready for that. Wootie woot! -t

A view of the Oyster Landing Marina on Lake Austin

Taken from the balcony of Mozart’s

oyster landing marina - zig zag

I am a mere novice in the art of photography and do not expect to find something great , aside from within myself. But I see photography as a way to view and capture the world, and a way to leave behind the stress of the daily life. A self medication.

As I was being entertained by the lonely boats on an overcast day, I noticed on my camera’s LCD screen a prominent mercurial zig zag taking up my picture. It wasn’t obtrusive though, and it contributed variation and depth to the story of the shot. The zig zag became my subject. The boats and the dreary sky became its setting. Being in my early stages, I enjoyed taking this simple picture. Maybe only I see it. But really, that is all that matters at this point.

I did not include the technical information of the shot, as I do not think it is of much mention with a digital point-n-shoot.